3D jumps the sha-, er iceberg, with 'Titanic 3D' trailer

Posted Thursday, November 17, 2011 at 3:47 PM Central
Last updated Thursday, November 17, 2011 at 4:36 PM Central

by John Couture

Do you know what I despise more than 3D movies? The 2D trailers that come out to advertise them.

Today's submission for the Darwin Awards comes from none other than Jim Cameron himself in the form of the 2D trailer for next year's re-release of Titanic in 3D. And I can call him Jim because he calls himself Jim in the intro to the trailer.

Yes, that's right. The man that can lay claim to the top two grossing movies at the box office of all time, took the spare 30 seconds out of his day to personally beg, er solicit, you to come out in April and spend more money to see the film that everyone has seen a million times.

Ah, but according to Jim this is the first time you'll see it in 3D. Unless, you know you were actually on the Titanic then it would be the second time. Of course, back then everything was in black and white, but I digress.

I don't have a problem with Jim Cameron and I really do enjoy his movies, but I just find it a bit patronizing to see him out shilling a movie he made almost 15 years ago and practically begging you to go and see it one more time, this time in 3D! But why should we go see it?

Is the movie really going to be that much more impressive in 3D? Or will the then ground-breaking special effects look like child's play next to today's Inceptions and Transformers?

Did Cameron go back and pull a George Lucas and throw in a bunch of extra footage or tinker with the movie so as to change key scenes or add a completely new ending? I mean the trailer does end with Rose telling Jack that she "won't ever let go" and we all know *SPOILER ALERT* that she does indeed let go and poor Jack sinks to his final resting place on the ocean floor.

No, there's only one reason behind this blatant money grab: ego. Oh yes, Jim Cameron has such an enormous ego that he's a bit upset that his other movie Avatar surpassed Titanic as the highest grossing movie of all-time. Perhaps with a couple dozen 3D tickets sold next April Titanic can bridge that $160 million gap and once again be the top dog.

That is until Cameron re-releases Avatar ahead of its sequels in the next few years.

So yes, come April, we will once again be inundated with Celine Dion's terrible singing about her heart and despite it now being in 3D, the crew of the Titanic will still spot the iceberg too late and, yep, *SPOILER ALERT* the ship will sink and a bunch of people will die.

But you know, at least they will die in 3D and Jim Cameron will make a few more bucks off of one of the 20th century's greatest disasters.

The trailer debuted on the film's official Facebook page and the below embed is brought to you courtesy of The Film Stage. Titanic 3D will sail full speed ahead into an iceberg, er theaters on April 6, 2012.

Look, they even created a new poster for the occasion.

And here's the 2D trailer for the 3D movie. I know, it makes no sense.