What if 'Star Wars' had stingers...

Posted Thursday, July 10, 2014 at 5:20 PM Central

by John Couture

I wish I could take credit for this idea, but I can't. I'm completely stealing the idea from the Star Wars Minute podcast, but it's too good not to discuss further.

For those that don't know the Star Wars Minute podcast is a podcast where they dissect the Star Wars films minute by minute. Each episode centers around one minute from the films and the concept is so simple that it's brilliant.

Well, occasionally there are some minutes that aren't so spectacular. Those minutes in the credits for example are rather boring and yet they still find plenty to talk about. In the discussion on the 124th minute of The Empire Strikes Back, they hit upon something that is pure genius.

What would be the post-credits stinger of The Empire Strikes Back if it was filmed today?

It seems that most of Hollywood's big event films are putting scenes in or after the credits to hype the next film or to give the audience a little something extra to go home and freak out over. It remains to be seen if J.J. Abrams will introduce the Star Wars galaxy to the world of post-credits stinger or not (it should be noted that he didn't have any for either of his Star Trek films), but it's fun to play a little game of "What if?"

I will share my stinger for each of the original trilogy films and I encourage you to add your own in the comments below. You can even add ones for the prequel trilogies if you like. We are equal opportunity Star Wars fans around here.

Star Wars

As you recall, the first film ends on such a positive note. Evil is thwarted and the good guys all get medals. Yay! But for the stinger, I think you have to remind the audience that the war is far from over.

Fade in on Dagobah. The planet is swampy and the fog is thick. You can just make out a faint glow in the distance. As the camera approaches a small hut, you start to hear sounds of a creature inside preparing its dinner. The camera enters the hut and reveals the back of Yoda, but he's hunched over the sink. Suddenly, as if being woken up from a dream, he pulls himself up to full attention and the camera switches to a full on image of his face.

YODA A disturbance in the force there is. Ahead, dark times lie. Yes.

FADE TO BLACK

The Empire Strikes Back

Naturally, Empire has the darkest ending of any film in the franchise, but I think you can help to set up Return of the Jedi with a simple scene.

A freight ship is orbiting the forested moon of Endor about to jump to light speed. The pilot and co-pilot are setting the final coordinates. Suddenly, their ship crosses over into the dark side of the moon and they see the unmistakable outline of the second Death Star being built.

PILOT What the-
CO-PILOT Sir, we have company.

Two TIE fighters fall in behind the freight ship and without warning they fire on the ship and blow it up.

FADE TO BLACK

Return of the Jedi

Now this one is tough because the trilogy is complete and there really isn't a need to tease more films. But, let's say that it's going to tease Star Wars: Episode VII.

A title card appears on screen that reads, "30 YEARS LATER."

Luke Skywalker is watching as young Jedi train at his academy. A smile spreads on his face and then suddenly it is gone. His hand flies up to his temple and he is physically shaken as he experiences a vision of pure evil. The young Jedi stop and approach their leader.

YOUNG JEDI Are you okay Master Skywalker?

Luke takes a moment and shakes it off.

LUKE SKYWALKER Yeah, it was just something that I haven't felt in a long time.

The camera pulls back to reveal that the scene is being watched remotely via a hologram. The area around the hologram is dark and a mysterious, shrouded figure is watching the scene unfold. We only see his back.

Suddenly, the familiar sound of a lightsaber igniting is heard and a red-bladed lightsaber glows to life.

FADE TO BLACK

So, what do you think? What stingers would you include?