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Monday Mixer: Cowabunga! 'TMNT' rules the day

Posted Monday, August 11, 2014 at 2:49 PM Central
Last updated Monday, August 11, 2014 at 2:50 PM Central

by John Couture

Say what you will about Michael Bay (and I've said many things), there is one thing that you cannot deny, the dude can open an action movie. And so it happened again this weekend with the debut of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, it also marked another nail in the coffin of my childhood, but we will get there soon enough.

First, I want to talk about a terrible movie from 2007 called Good Luck Chuck. It stars Dane Cook who is cursed as a child (aren't they always?) and now he is unable to sustain a romantic relationship. What's worse is that the hex works so that his exes all find their true love in the very next man that they date. Hence, he's the good luck charm.

I bring it up because it seems that Caroline Wozniacki is the female version of Good Luck Chuck, but for sports success. Who is Caroline Wozniacki? Here ya go.

Now that you're back (at least I hope you come back), Caroline Wozniacki is a tennis player and a mighty good one at that, but she's becoming more famous these days as the ex-fiancée of Rory McIlroy. McIlroy is single-handedly saving golf and dominating the game in ways that haven't been seen since Tiger Woods in his prime and he credits his recent success on breaking off his engagement with Wozniacki.

McIlroy continued his winning ways by winning his second major and third tournament in a row following his split from Wozniacki with this past weekend's win at the PGA Championship. Meanwhile, Wozniacki has not seen the same sort of bounce to her game (she's a professional tennis player) as she struggled mightily at the French Open before regaining form at Wimbledon.

And yes, that's how slow this weekend was. But, the real fireworks were saved for the box office, so let's get there already.

Box Office 411

There's no denying that the winner at the box office this weekend was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The reboot of the late '80s/'90s franchise exceeded even the rosiest of industry projections to the tune of $65 million. It seems that most people assumed that it would compete more directly at $40 million and fight last week's top film, Guardians of the Galaxy, for the crown.

But there was no need for theatrics as nostalgia with older audiences and a new Nickelodeon series with younger audiences drove demand for the film in near record numbers. As it stands, the performance was still the fourth best August opening ever. Of course, don't throw out Guardians of the Galaxy either, its $41.5 million haul was the highest second weekend of the Summer so far.

The only problem with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is that most people my age didn't care for it, myself included. Yes, that's right, I actually got out and saw a film on opening weekend. My obvious disdain for anything that Michael Bay touches these days aside, I was just appalled by the utter carelessness with the property.

The film is basically an origin story (and two hour commercial for Pizza Hut, but I expected that and that didn't bother me) in which they took the sacred origin story from the comics and the TV series and flushed them down the toilet - no pun intended. What we are left with is an overly sappy origin that features April O'Neil greatly and gets rid of any reference to the ooze.

I mean, the ooze is everything, no? Well, apparently nothing is sacred when Michael Bay gets his hands on something. He's now two for two in ruining my childhood and I shudder about the future, er past, has in store for him/us.

But I digress.

Two other films, Into the Storm and The Hundred-Foot Journey, opened well, while Step Up: All In should have been titled "Step Up: All Done" with its miserable $6.6 million opening.

Quick Hitters

  • Omaze and Star Wars have picked a winner in their "Force for Change" charity benefit. The lucky winner is D.C. Barns from Denver Colorado. We are jealous already. Congrats D.C.!

  • In further Star Wars news that is certainly music to my ears, Deadline is reporting that Daisy Ridley has signed with talent agency UTA. Who is Daisy Ridley? You obviously haven't been paying attention.

    She might not be a household name yet, but she is one of the unknowns that won a leading role in Star Wars: Episode VII. So yeah, giver her about 18 months and everyone will know her name. They report that the competition was fierce because Ridley is expected to star in Episode VIII and Episode IX as well.

    Huh, I guess that should have been couched with a spoiler alert. Don't worry, since you don't know who she is, you will forget that she lives through the first two films of the new trilogy long before the new film hits theaters in December 2015.

  • Finally today, the world has gone to the sharks - literally. If you ever wanted to see what it would look like if Columbo were played by a shark, click below.

That's all for this week, until next week, mix WELL!