According to MPAA, Eva Green is too sexy

Posted Thursday, May 29, 2014 at 4:02 PM Central
Last updated Thursday, May 29, 2014 at 4:06 PM Central

by John Couture

Usually, we like to leave the "hottest" and "sexiest" lists to those magazines that specialize in such content. I mean, if you're looking for such a list wouldn't you trust the experts over at Maxim and their annual "Hot 100" list over, say, the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA)?

Well, their lack of experience in said arena did nothing to deter the MPAA from declaring that Eva Green was too sexy for general consumption. To be fair, they ruled that the character poster featuring the actress in a very sheer robe was inappropriate due to "nudity — curve of under breast and dark nipple/areola circle visible through sheer gown."

Now, I think it's been pretty well established on the site that I'm neither a prude nor do I agree with many of the bizarre rulings of the MPAA, so you won't be surprised when I say, "what?" I've studied the high-res version of this poster (for research purposes only, I swear!) and while sure the sheer fabric does little to hide the fact that Eva Green is a very voluptuous woman, I could find no evidence of this alleged "dark nipple/areola circle."

Don't just take my word for it, check out the offending image below and judge for yourself (click for a high-res shot).

Now, this isn't my first rodeo and the Weinsteins are smart people. They even issued a press release on the ruling pretty much guaranteeing that every news site in existence would report on it and jump at the opportunity to use this poster to drive traffic. It's called free publicity for the film and the Weinsteins are masters at this type of advertising.

But does the poster cross a line? I don't know. I tend to remain on the anti-censorship side of things like this and I've weighed in on this subject many times over the years. What does concern me most though is the MPAA's own lack of consistency on the subject.

Here are just a smattering of posters that were not deemed inappropriate by the MPAA (well, assumedly since it would next to impossible to get confirmation on this as the MPAA also happens to be one of the most secretive organizations out there).

It goes both ways, but I don't recall every hearing of a poster being banned because a guy showed too much skin.

Although, upon close inspection of that Wolverine poster, it looks to me that someone airbrushed Hugh Jackman's nipples completely out of the picture. That seems rather rude.

But it's not just excessive skin that upsets the MPAA. Do you all remember the "uproar" they caused when they objected to Kevin Smith's first poster for Zack and Miri Make a Porno? Well, the offending poster is below. You'll notice that both actors are completely clothed.

Of course, the placement of each other's heads on the opposite side from their main shot is what upset the MPAA. Apparently the mere suggestion of oral sex is too much for the MPAA. That's OK, Smith, who studied for many years at the Weinsteins Institute of Film (not a real thing), turned lemons into lemonade with this hilarious stick figure poster.

And that sort of brings us back full circle to the offending poster in question. At first blush, I didn't think it was overtly offensive. The entire poster is smoky and in shadows much like the other character posters for the film. Perhaps the MPAA should have taken a lesson Maxim, who didn't even list Eva Green in their "Hot 100" list.

Interestingly, Green's Sin City: A Dame to Kill For co-star Jessica Alba not only made Maxim's list, but she came in at number 8. So far, the MPAA hasn't made a peep about her character poster.