Triple Wide Trailers: 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre'

Posted Thursday, September 13, 2012 at 5:15 PM Central
Last updated Monday, September 17, 2012 at 11:56 AM Central

by John Couture

If there's one thing I hate more than remakes, it's re-releasing films in 3D just to make a couple of extra bucks. You know what I hate more than that?

Remakes that slap on the 3D moniker simply to make a couple of extra bucks.

Tobe Hooper's 1974 film The Texas Chainsaw Massacre literally put modern day horror on the map. Films after it all attempted to be it and films before it pale in comparison.

It is quite simply the seminal work in horror and should be left alone. Of course, that didn't stop them from remaking it back in 2003. Sadly, because that film was successful at the box office, taking in over $75 million, we had a slate of horror remakes for awhile.

Of course, they didn't have the level of 3D a decade ago that they have now, so yeah, let's remake The Texas Chainsaw Massacre one more time. Texas Chainsaw 3D is the result and it hits theaters on January 4, 2013.

Today we got the first look at Texas Chainsaw 3D and yes, it's as bad as you would imagine. Now, it certainly looks better than the original, but that's just advancements in technology. You can't improve upon the original creepiness of the 1974 film, no matter how much you try.

Normally, I'd go into a long discourse on the differences and similarities between the trailers, but with three to compare and contrast, we might be here all week. That's right, I said three.

This is technically the first Triple Wide Trailer piece. And we all weep for humanity and the future of film.

The use of the chainsaw from one to the others is interesting. It's used sparingly in the first two, but it's almost two minutes of chainsaw wreckage in the latest trailer. All three trailers use the "flashbulb" effect from the original trailer to varying degrees, although it's almost completely absent from today's trailer.

I did like the part in today's trailer when it went completely black for a few seconds. That was unexpected and actually helped to build a bit of suspense.

At the end of the day though, there's no topping the original and I wish they would stop trying. What do you think?

Not a remake

It was pointed out to me that Texas Chainsaw 3D is not technically a remake but rather a direct sequel to the original The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. While that might be true, it's a bit hard to believe after seeing the trailer.

Regardless if it's a remake or sequel, the argument is still valid. Please stop trying to outdo the original when the original's campiness is what makes it so good.