[UPDATED] CD Review: Scarlett Johansson loses her 'Head'

Posted Tuesday, May 20, 2008 at 5:29 PM Central

by John Couture

The first thing wrong with Scarlett Johansson's debut CD "Anywhere I Lay My Head" is that you can't see her at all when listening to it. The second thing wrong with it is that you can't hear her most of the time either.

Now, I don't pretend to be some sort of music critic. Heck, I don't even pretend to know anything even remotely resembling all those fancy words that music critics throw out. No, we're a movie site, but the record company sent us a copy to review.

They never said that we had to like it.

I should also disclose that I never really cared for Tom Waits and if I have a preference, it's for his early stuff when his voice was still recognizable. These are all import disclosures to make considering that the album consists of 10 Tom Waits (later period) covers and one ScarJo original.

It is only fair to point out that like every other red-blooded male movie fan out there, I am moved by both of ScarJo's twin assets - her beauty and her acting talent. In that vein, I remember Lost in Translation and how she butchered The Pretenders' "Brass in Pocket" in a memorable karaoke scene.

Thankfully, either her acting skills are much better than I thought or her vocal skills have improved greatly because her performance on the CD makes her karaoke scene seem like a gruesome first week American Idol train wreck in comparison.

While we're on American Idol, here's an idea that will both solve the problem of good actors making crappy musical albums and inject some new life into the top reality TV show. Why not have actor/actress or celebrity version of American Idol?

Just think of how much fun it would be to see Simon Cowell make Gwyneth Paltrow weep. Or to see James Franco swooning for Paula's love and vote.

But, I'm way off track here and that's probably the point I suppose since there isn't much positive to say about the album itself. It's over-produced and muddled throughout. Despite ScarJo being the selling point of the whole album, it seems that her vocals are almost a second thought at best at times and forgotten altogether at others.

It's hard to judge her vocal talents objectively when they are barely audible for most of it. I will say that the two stronger tracks on the album "Fannin" and "I Wish I Was in New Orleans" are also the ones that feature ScarJo's voice more than the frenzied myriad of musical "instruments," so that's saying something. Not a lot, but something.

David Bowie also lends his voice to "Fannin" and "Falling Down" and his expertise does shine through and lend some credibility to these tracks.

Overall, I wouldn't recommend for ScarJo to quit her lucrative day job anytime soon. But if you're an obsessed, borderline stalker fan of hers or just want to complete that collection of good actors turned lousy singers collection then by all means have at it.

UPDATE: So, you don't take my word for it? Well then, enjoy the first video "Falling Down" below. Note, that it "sounds" much better when there are images of ScarJo to accompany the music.